Ray: Goodnight my precious angel.
Hoppip: Please get out of my crib… I’m too tired for your shenanigans… and that’s coming from me.
Ray: I seem to be stuck.
Me: If you already completed your LTW, I would have let you stay there until you starved.
Grotle: Standing in the snow, in a tight mini skirt~ I want to go home because the guy in the audience is a big pervert~
Guy: *rubs hands together menacingly* Yessss.
Me: His daughter/wife/girlfriend/mistress isn’t too pleased with his behavior.
Me: You alright?
Ray: I want to die.
Me: You’re the one who wanted all those kids.
Ray: You’re right. I want another *rolls wish for baby*
Me: I let them throw a gift giving party for snowflake day!
Me: I invited the family! I invited Garden, her school bus worth of children and her husband but they were no-shows. Her dog came with her though.
Garden: There better be food.
Me: There is not.
Me: I also invited Grovyle, Gecko and Gecko’s pregnant wife.
Garden: This crib is empty like my heart. I want another baby.
Me: NO!!! You have so many! I can’t keep track anymore!
Ray: I’ve noticed you like kids! I like kids too!
Garden: Want to go make some?
Me: Damn it! I knew this would happen! Right in front Grotle too.
Garden: You’ll never let me be happy.
Me: By the time you’re 50 you’ll be like the old lady who lived in a shoe, I swear.
Me: You haven’t even joined the party yet. Now that you’re done building the igloo, go inside.
Holly: I think my water just broke.
Me: Luckily she made it to the hospital. People always die at my sims’ parties, never has someone gone into labor though!
Grovyle: Oh! A bonehilda! They’re really scary even though I grew up around one.
Grovyle: They’re so scary!
Me: At least he’s not going to run away like all of the neurotic sims.
Grotle: Sorry I’m late to my own gig it’s not like I was seeing my family on the holidays or anything.
Me: …Yeah no one else is there anyway. Just go home. You missed Hawkeye’s birthday.
Me: He’s ridiculously adorable! His traits are absent minded and light sleeper and he doesn’t have Bella’s mouth!
Me: Garden’s dog and Glitter look alike but they are not related.
Me: It’s midnight. I think it’s safe to say they live there now.
Me: Here’s Honey Lemon. She’s still so cute!!!! Her traits are Absent minded, virtuoso, and never nude.
Honey Lemon: What was I doing again?
Me: But the absent mindedness will take some getting used to.
Me: Here’s Hoppip! She’s cute but she looks like a little mini Ray. I’m actually a little worried. I think Ray’s traits might have over-powered Bella’s and we’ll spend the next 5 generations weaning his mouth out. Anyway, Hoppips traits are Insane, Good, and Neat. Pretty scary robot housewife traits right there. She’s like the reincarnation of Cranberry, if you guys remember her.
Me: Here’s Hyacinth. She’s also very cute! Her traits are Genius, Disciplined, and Loves the heat. I’m sure we’ll find something for her to do.
Me: Uh, hi August. You alright?
August: Shh! I’m hiding from Hoppip. She’s baking and she’ll make me help.
Me: Don’t worry about that she already recruited Honey Lemon.
Hoppip: Then you add EXACTLY 2 cups of flour, no more, no less. EXACTLY a teaspoon of vanilla. If you add any more you better throw that batter out and try again.
Honey Lemon: Wait, how much flour?
Hoppip: 2 cups. No more no less.
Hoppip: Then you bake it for exactly 37 minutes. If you bake it anymore then you ruined it and might as well just set the oven on fire.
Honey Lemon: What were we doing again?
Hoppip: I told you! Step 1: Bake treats. Step 2: Sell treats. Step 3: World Peace. It kind of rhymes so it’s easy to remember!
Honey Lemon: How will selling treats bring about world peace?
Hoppip: Just go get Hyacinth. No one will be able to resist triplets.
Honey Lemon: Hi Hyacinth. Want to go sell muffins with Hoppip and me?
Hyacinth: Honey Lemon. I’m a genius. I’ve discovered 2 planets and 3 stars and I’m only a child. Do you really think I’d spend my spare time selling muffins?
Honey Lemon: Yes?
Hyacinth: Okay, fine. Let’s go.
Hoppip: Perfect! They’re all absolutely just right! Now bring on the customers!
Me: It looks like you’re doing it alone, Hoppip. They’re distracted.
Me: Look who’s here!
Gecko: Oh no! It’s the sim god here to force me to change my hair.
Me: Nah, you can do whatever you want, spare.
Me: You better get yourself out of there. I don’t reset sims I don’t care about.
Grotle: I gotta go. I’m going to kill all of these people that are hogging my stage.
Grotle: That’s right, bitches. Walk away.
Hoppip: Where were you two! I can’t sell all of these by myself.
Hyacinth: I can’t take you seriously if you’re going to yell at us crosseyed with your tongue out.
Honey Lemon: How did I get here?
Me: Wow I really lucked out with these 3.
Me: This is a new low for you Hawkeye.
Me: Congratulations to Hyacinth for being the only kid who does homework.
Ray: Yeah, she’s really smart. I bet one day she’ll be like a lawyer or a business owner who carries a briefcase.
Ray: Or just a job that pays a lot so we can all get a bunch of maids because we’re making dishes faster than Bonehilda can clean.
Hyacinth: Dad, I’m trying to focus here.
Honey Lemon: How many vowels are in the words fishing pole?
Hyacinth: Honey Lemon, we’re doing math homework.
Honey Lemon: This isn’t relating to the homework.
Hyacinth: I’m surprised! It’s not like you to miss school!
Hyacinth: I’m sick so they told me not to go
Me: Oh… well you can’t just sit and relax you still have to skill.
Me: There’s the girl who saved your life, in a small and weak toddler form sleeping on the dirty, uncomfortable floor.
Me: Looks like you’ve got some competition, Grotle.
Grotle: Eh, I’m prettier.
Me: And the competition will be forever known as the girl who some guy died during her performance.
Me: Everyone is really mad at Priscilla for some reason.
Girl: Priscilla, you were supposed to be watching him!
Priscilla: I was! I don’t know what happened!
Grotle: Yeah! What the hell, Priscilla!
Me: Grotle, you don’t even know them.
Grotle: I like drama.
Me: …bout time.
Grotle: Someone is on MY stage!
Me: You’re really going to stop in the middle of your show to yell at someone for standing on the stage?
Grotle: It’s my stage!!!
Me: It’s also Grotle’s birthday but I don’t care that much.
Me: No! Don’t become friends, he’s going to die soon!
Me: Preferably really soon. I need the slot for another baby to complete Ray’s LTW. You know what? Screw it. With my luck he’ll probably die when all of the kids are grown or something. I’m moving him out temporarily so Grotle can conceive. But don’t die until I move you back in.
Stephen: No promises.
Me: YOU MOTHERF*CKER! Now I have to send Grotle to collect your grave. He died the second I kicked him out!!!
Ray: YOU STAY IN THE CORNER AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU’VE DONE! I HAVE TO DEAL WITH TWO SCREAMING TODDLERS AND A WHINY DOG, I CAN’T HAVE YOU AND YOUR SISTER FAILING SCHOOL!
Me: You’re the one that wanted so many children. Everyone is miserable. All the time.
Me: Throwing up on stage. Classy, Grotle.
Me: Yes! Finally! Turn the whiny toddlers into children who feed themselves!
Me: Here’s August, the child Grotle kidnapped. Her traits were preset. They’re currently Brave, Neat and Excitable.
Me: Here’s Hawkeye, he’s still very cute. His traits are Loves the outdoors, absent minded, and light sleeper. I can imagine him camping but unable to fall asleep because he can’t remember whether or not he turned the oven off before he left.
Me: Now let’s end this chapter with some notifications!
Me: NO GROVYLE! I might have wanted to marry her into the family for her hair color! 😦
Me: Garden you have more children than you do rooms in your house. STAHP!
Me: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA I LOVE THIS! But also, F*ck you Grovyle. Now I’ll never get her hair color!
Me: He eventually dumped her and then she had the baby, then Grovyle got a new girlfriend and broke up with her, then he got a new girlfriend and dumped her too. Now I don’t know what he’s doing. But if Becky with the good hair has kids with someone else maybe they’ll have her hair color and I can marry the kid into the family. It’ll be weird because the sim will be married to someone who’s half-brother is Grovyle’s son but hey, Grotle kidnapped someone to marry her kid. I’m not above weird.