WARNING: This chapter contains adult themes such as drinking and sex. If that makes you uncomfortable please skip this chapter. The sims is rated T anyway, so if you can handle what happens in the sims you can handle this.
Me: OMG Bella what happened to you?
Bella: What do you mean, I’m just bringing the kitten home…
Me: But you’re short?!
Bella: No, I’m ‘fun-sized’. Give me a minute, I’m sure I’ll revert back to ‘share-sized’ by the time my bachelorette party starts.
Partygoer: Ready for the nectar, Bella?
Bella: Aim for my mouth! I wanna gargle!
Partygoer2: Hello Bella, what a classy get together you seem to be throwing.
Partygoer3: Come over here everyone! I’m going to make a speech about Bella.
Bella: YEAH! Tell them about that time in college!
Partygoer2: Nobody wants to know about your disgusting college days.
Me: It looks like partygoer2 had too much to drink.
Partygoer2: How did my life end up like this. I wanted to be a writer.
Partygoer4: Hey! We’re all going to do shots off partygoer3’s stomach. You in?
Partygoer2: Eh, I guess.
Bella: You guys hired a stripper! I’m so hungry, I know what I want in my mouth!
Bella: Goin’ on number 12! I’m probably going to pass out…
Owner: I’m cutting you off, Bella.
Bella: I don’t even know what’s going on! Whoooo!!!
Me: Meanwhile, Bloo is having a nice evening at home.
Bloo: Nice? Painting pictures of cats is nice? I’m bored!
Me: I’m sure you’ll have just as much fun at your party tomorrow.
Me: Which will be here.
Bloo: Why is my party going to be here? I want a destination party tomorrow.
Me: Because Bella didn’t come home until 8 in the morning and had to go to work drunk and tired. At least here I can send you to bed during the party.
Bloo: What’s up, Bunny?
Bunny: The man behind you is practically a ghost.
Partygoer1: I might look old but I can still party!
Bloo: No, don’t. No one wants to see you break a hip.
Partygoer2: Bloo, control your guests.
Bunny: I don’t need to see that, I’m leaving.
Bloo: Hey man, can you say a speech for me.
Bluejay: Anything for my best bro.
Bluejay: Hey guys! Gather over here! I’m going to tell you Bloo’s embarrassing secrets!
Me: And no one cares.
Bluejay: Here Bloo, open your mouth. This will help you forget that none of these people know you because they’re all Bella’s friends.
Bloo: I heard it’s good for your teeth, is that true?
Bluejay: Uhh? Yeah, sure buddy.
Bloo: Hey, Boone. Nice of you to finally show up. Drinks? No, these are mine. Make your own.
Boone: I like that stripper.
Bunny: I too like the stripper.
Literally everyone else: Yay Stripper
Boone: Is dancing next to the stripper the same as dancing with the stripper?
Bloo: Bruh…. yew gutta go git with that stripper.
Boone: Bloo, are you drunk.
Bloo: Yew gutta.
Boone: Well if I have too….
Me: Bluejay you don’t get to see the stripper, you’re married!
Boone: Best dare ever.
Stripper: I agree!
Bluejay: Who wants to have some of this!?
Me: I’m telling your wife.
Bloo: I’m sure sum nectar will git the nectar taste out of my mouth.
Me: How many have you had?
Bloo: Sumwere between 10 and 40. I lost count.
Me: You’re going to die.
Bloo: Hi, Bella. Darlin’ I missed yew so much.
Bella: Have you been drinking?
Bella: Hey, me too!
Bloo: Let me take yew upsters and show yew what your marryin’ tomorrow.
Me: It’s like 6AM and people are just leaving! That’s like more than 12 hours since the party started at noonish. There’s gotta be a record for the longest non glitched sims party.
Bella: Man, I’m sick. I must have partied too hard! I can’t even remember what happened.
Me: It’s the middle of winter. You’re both stupid.
Boone: The view from back here is pretty nice Bella! Want to turn around and show me the front too?
Bella: *ignores like a good girl*
Bloo: Are you ready to become Mrs. Belland?
Bella: I guess I don’t have anything better to do today.
Me: Madison, you have three seconds to move and stop photobombing the cute moments or I will reset your ass and you don’t get to see the celebrity wedding.
Madison: No. 😡
Me: *resets her*
Bloo: I’m so excited to be marrying my dream girl!
Bella: I promise to love and hold you for the next 50 years or so because by then the aliens are due to take me away.
Bloo: And I promise to love and hold you for the next million years because I will never let anything bad like that happen to you.
Me: I can’t believe how well Bella has been today. She’s ignored all of the men flirting with her, and hasn’t even done anything she shouldn’t.
Bella: Hey guys! Who wants a piece of this!
Me: I still love her though.
Bloo: Me too!