Aqua: A gift? Maybe it’s from Connor? “Hey bby I used my daughters college fund to buy you this. Do you want me?” Nope it’s from Jared.
Paperboy: Wow this is one nice lawn. I’m going to stare at it for an hour every morning when I deliver the paper that no one even reads anymore.
Me: Another broken computer, another day to socialize with Connor.
Aqua: The computer is broken? I honestly thought it just doubled as a fireplace.
Me: Computers are not meant to be smoking.
Aqua: Hey Connor, how are you?
Connor: Your computer broke again, didn’t it.
Aqua: Yep, then I thought about the hollowness of life and now I feel empty inside.
NO! Go away! There is nothing for you to steal!
Burglar: I don’t know man, this toilet looks pretty nice.
Me: You need a better car.
Burglar: Well how would I buy that, I steal toilets for a living.
Me: The computer broke again?! It hasn’t even been a day!
Connor: Hey, Aqua. You’re hanging out with me, so I’m guessing your computer broke again
Connor: You should start writing with a quill, they never break.
Aqua: I forgot what we were talking about…
Connor: Me too!
Me: Gotta love the absent-minded.
Connor: What were we doing? Did it have something to do with bobbing for Apples.
Aqua: I think so…but how could we know for sure.
Me: Maybe the fact that you’re standing in front of the apple bobbing bucket.
Erin: I can’t seem to find my frying pan, perhaps it’s in this giant tub of water with all these apples. It must be, I’m a genius.
Erin: How nice of everyone to look for my frying pan, but wouldn’t it be better to use their hands?
Erin: I should have been in bed five hours ago, I’m leaving.
Aqua: I have to get home and go to bed. I had a fun time though, I think…what is fun anyways, is it a necessity or just a human emotion, or does it stem from the same part of the brain that thrives on companionship… What was I talking about? Oh, right. Getting home
Connor: You don’t have to go home, you could move in with me and my brother.
Zombie: Gruuugghhh Young Love grrrruuuughghhh this doesn’t affect me because I’m a zombie
Aqua: I can’t move in with you and your brother and his next door illegitimate love child. But you’re more welcome to move in with me on my lawn, we can get bunk beds!
Connor: Are you going to ignore the fact that there’s a zombie behi- did you say bunk beds?
Aqua: Damn it, I wanted the top bunk.
Connor: You’re too clumsy, you might fall off.
Aqua: But the bars will protect me, I want the top bunk!
Connor: Can’t hear you ZzzZzZZ I’m sleeping.
Aqua: What? Why am I suddenly waking up in the middle of the night?
Aqua: What’s going on?
Aqua: I look exactly the same!
Aqua: Then why do I feel this vast emptiness that can only be filled with fast cars, tattoos, and random guys?
Aqua: I feel old and ugly
Connor: I think you still look great.
Connor: I love you, Aqua. I want to be part of your crazy rainbow family tree, even if there’s a chance of being broken hearted in the end, you’re worth the risk.
Me: Guys, this is a comedy, try to tone it down.
Aqua: I would never break you’re heart, I love you too.
Me: Someone throw a pie or something!!!